


A Helping Hand

by tenjun



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: College AU, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, a questioning fem boy! ten, best friend johnny, fem boy! jungwoo, fem boy! taeyong, future smut, himbo yuta, pining jaehyun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-05-08 19:19:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14700537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenjun/pseuds/tenjun
Summary: Ten is straight. He thinks. Maybe.His friends are not. In any way.





	1. That was weird... Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my nsfw twt is @haostiny !! follow me talk to me

College really wasn’t all Ten had hoped it would be.

Classes are boring, and he _wanted_ to like them. His knee hurt at the end of everyday from walking all around the huge campus all day, plus most of the time the elevator in the science building was under construction so he had to take the stairs. He didn’t like his major, but he didn’t know what else to do so he was stuck.

The only things that made college bearable was his friends, and the crazy parties they liked to throw. Ten really liked to party, and he really liked his friends more. When he first came to college, he had been pretty sheltered and the lifestyles of some of his friends had... shocked him to say the least. But he prided himself in being an open minded human, and after a few long talks with Johnny at 2am drunk on the balcony, Ten came to some conclusions: 1) sometimes boys like to kiss boys, and 2) his friends liked to kiss boys almost all the time, including each other.

Ten was cool with that. He didn’t want a part in it, but he wasn’t going to judge anyone else for what they like. It’s chill, for the most part.

 

\-----

 

Ten was sitting in his Marketing lecture, notably and undeniably his least favorite class of all. He was fixated on a very certain part of the wall, watching the lines go in and out of focus when he felt his phone in his hoodie pocket vibrate shortly and bring him out of his trance.

 _Jaehyun_ : “can we count on u to bring some drinks tonight?”

He taps his finger on the side of his phone and thought through his options. He could save his money and stay in tonight, watching the new Black Mirror episode he hadn’t caught last week and eating whatever leftovers was in his and Johnny’s shared fridge. Or, he could cough up 15 bucks to chip in for drinks and head to Jaehyun and Taeyong's house and hope someone orders pizza.

He sighs and types back a text,

 _Ten_ : “yeah count me in. only 1 pack though, make yuta buy drinks too. he consumes most of it anyways”

 _Jaehyun_ : “you’re not wrong, i’ll tell him lol”

 _Jaehyun_ : “you bringing anyone?”

Ten breathes deeply through his nostrils, as much as he loves his friends, he wishes they would quit with the relationship questions and advice. Sure, there were pretty girls here. There’s pretty girls everywhere. Ten just didn’t want to date anyone, the thought alone made his stomach feel sick. He didn’t like to think about relationships.

 _Ten_ : “u know the answer to that jae”

 _Ten_ : “i dont wanna come if u guys are gonna make the whole night about my love or sex life again”

 _Jaehyun_ : “im sorry, i promise i wont :( we’ll just have fun, no talk of love OR sex. at least involving you”

That makes Ten chuckle.

 _Ten_ : “its okay jae, see you soon!”

He sit send as soon as his professor reaches his final PowerPoint slide, signaling the end of class. He realizes he didn’t take any notes all class and silently wishes he had just stayed at home.

 

\-------------

 

The night started off pretty good. Johnny had offered to pay for the drinks at the store instead of Ten in payback for lunch last week, Yuta was in a good mood and not even completely trashed yet, Jaehyun was flirting with a new boy (his name was... Taeil, Ten thinks...) instead of Ten tonight, and there were tons of people Ten had never seen at one of these parties before. They had a really good turnout.

There was even a good amount of girls, and a few had come up to him and try to hit him up but he never pursued anything. He was content to drink his messily mixed drink and play whatever drinking game Yuta could come up with. He and Johnny had won the last round of beer pong, and their ‘prize’ was a kiss from Yuta himself, which Johnny had quickly accepted with a small smirk on his lips.

Ten had just looked away, rolled his eyes, and refused like he always did.

As he was turning away, he caught sight of Jaehyun’s roommate and best friend, Taeyong walking in with a group of people. Ten gave him a small smile and waved weakly, still hearing Yuta’s pleas of “Just one small peck, c’mon!”. Taeyong laughed and waved back.

“Hey, it’s been a while since I saw you,” Taeyong said to him, leading his small group over to stand beside Ten.

Ten noticed how nice Taeyong looked tonight. Well, Taeyong always looked nice. He had allowed himself to admit that, because Taeyong always spent time on his appearance and it’s totally normal of him to appreciate that. Tonight he was wearing black ripped jeans tucked into black combat boots and a loose white vneck on top. In pair with his red hair pushed back, he looked killer. Objectively.

“Yeah, what’s been up?” Ten replied, trying to make his staring less obvious.

“Not much, studying. You know. There’s some people I wanted to introduce to you,” Taeyong motioned to the small group following him.

The first dude was very tall, and intimidating at first. He smiled with his whole face, was very loud when he talked, and seemed like a genuinely nice and fun guy. His name was Lucas, a sociology major.

The next guy was substantially shorter, looked like he could be in middle school, and was dressed like he was going to basketball practice. He had a small face and features, and he was a lot more shy than Lucas. He seemed nice none the less. His name was Mark, a business major and from Canada.

Ten’s eyes widened slightly when they fell on the last boy Taeyong was introducing to him, but he quickly composed himself. He was tall, not as tall as Lucas but taller than Ten and Taeyong. His voice was impossibly soft, but he wasn’t that shy. His name was Jungwoo, and he was an art major, like Johnny. He said he knew Johnny from classes and he heard a lot about Ten. Ten laughed back weakly and excused himself quickly.

He hoped he hadn’t offended the boy, but he wasn’t sure how to act around him. And it wasn’t anything about what Jungwoo had said, it was about how he... _looked._ Ten had never met someone like that.

What was he thinking going around like that? Didn’t he make everyone uncomfortable? Ten was surely uncomfortable.

Jungwoo was wearing an outfit similar to Taeyong, but so, so, so different. Different in the pink fishnets peeking out from the holes in his jeans and around his belly which could be seen due to the pink crop top he was wearing.

That was.. Weird. Right? Ten thought it was weird, maybe.

But then again, he thought, he had thought boys kissing boys was weird until he met his friends. He thought boys holding hands was weird. But it’s not now. Not if it makes them happy. Maybe dressing that way made Jungwoo happy. That wasn’t weird then. Or was it?

Ten put his head in his hands. He hated that things bothered him so much more than they bothered his friends. They didn’t think twice about Jungwoo’s outfit, and here he is, sweating and hiding in the bathroom because he had no idea how to react.

Fine, he thought, he will just save this problem for later. He will talk to Johnny about it, Johnny would help him understand. Just like how he helped him understand before.

It was weird. But maybe it wasn’t.


	2. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ten has some realizations, and Johnny is the best friend he could ever ask for.

The remainder of the party was, for the majority, uneventful.

Jaehyun and the new guy, Taeil, were hitting it off really well. At one point, they pulled Ten over to them excitedly and was telling him about all these weird coincidences they had in common. Went to the same school abroad, their family dog’s names were the exact same, they had the same favorite gemstone (moonstone), they drink the same brand of coffee... That conversation made Ten cheer up a lot. Jaehyun had been hung up on Ten for a long time, constantly hinting that he had a crush on the older boy. This had weighed heavy on Ten, and while Johnny kept reassuring him that it wasn’t his fault the feeling wasn’t mutual, he felt guilty that he wasn’t able to be what Jaehyun wanted him to be. Talking to him and Taeil made Ten optimistic that his friend had finally find someone who can.

Yuta and Taeyong went missing at the same time in the middle of the night, which wasn’t surprising or new. For some reason that made Ten’s mood go a little sour. He convinced himself it wasn’t jealousy for either one of his friends, but more that it seemed everyone else was getting action besides him.

Not that that fact was anyone else’s fault but his. He was the one turning down every girl who showed him some interest. Even the really pretty ones.

There was a turning point at the party, though.

One girl in particular, Minami, came to hang out with their group. She knew Yuta from school in Japan. She was stunning, and she was really fun to talk to. She talked to Ten about Thailand (she had been on vacation before), and had even won against him in classic beer pong. Ten convinced himself that this is this kind of girl he would like to get to know, and potentially date.

He noticed Minami looking over at some girl he had never seen before.

“Do you know her?” he asked her, catching her off guard and causing her to blush in the slightest.

“No,” she admitted, “but she’s really pretty. I was trying to gather the courage to go get her number.” She laughed quietly, and her smile was so pretty. Her eyes looked so bright and full of want while she watched the other girl.

It took Ten a few seconds to process this. He wasn’t upset, not even at all. In all honesty, he felt a weird sense of relief, which just served to confuse him further. Wasn’t he interested in this girl? He was just thinking about how pretty she is. He was still thinking about that, but it wasn’t in a romantic way. Thinking about her as a girlfriend didn’t feel good at all, it felt forced and unnatural. Even this girl, Ten couldn’t imagine any girl he would see as prettier, or nicer, or funnier.

So, he doesn’t think he likes girls. That was something he would have to deal with. He mentally added this to the “talk to Johnny about” list.

And the even bigger thing, Jungwoo. Ten kept subconsciously watching him. Jungwoo looks like he was having a really fun night. He wasn’t as wild as Yuta or Lucas, but he wasn’t as reserved as Taeil or Ten. He did a single shot and then sipped on a mixed drink that Taeyong had mixed especially for him. His voice and laughter was so quiet it was always drowned out by someone else’s, but Ten couldn’t pay attention to anyone else. Jungwoo was really kind and gentle, Ten observed, no matter what he was doing. He tipped his shot back with his pinky sticking out. He sipped his mixed drink with a dainty straw instead of chugging it like Yuta always did. He carried a very small, but very intoxicated Mark on his back like a little child and did it with a smile on his face. Ten really wanted to be his friend. He didn’t know why, but there was something so different about the boy.

That was also something he would have to deal with.

 

Ten drove him and Johnny home, only a short 6 minutes away from Jaehyun’s place. Neither of them had much to drink, but Johnny seemed like he had a much better time than he had.

“So, did you hit it off with that girl I saw you with earlier?” Johnny asked carefully, he knew these subjects were not Ten’s favorite. That made Ten feel bad, he wished his friends could talk about stuff as freely with him as they do with each other. He hoped Johnny didn’t feel too burdened by him.

Ten sighed. Johnny took this as a sign of annoyance and quickly backtracked, “We don’t have to talk about it!”

“No,” Ten said guiltily, ‘it’s not you. I’m being stupid. She was great. She likes girls. I was trying to help her talk to someone else.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.” Johnny replied, and his voice sounded genuinely sad. Ten’s heart felt warm at the fact that his friend cared so deeply about his feelings, even if it was about a girl he has just met this night.

“I didn’t really care...” Ten assured him, “Hey, are you tired?” he glanced to Johnny who shrugged.

“Not really, you wanted to do something?” Johnny asked.

“Yeah, I just... have something that’s been bothering me. A few things. Can we talk for a while?” Ten asked him, pulling into their apartment.

Johnny looked over at him, concerned, “Of course, you know I’m always here.” The comment made Ten smile genuinely for one of the first times that night. Johnny really was always there.

“Let’s get washed up and then we can talk,” Ten ended, walking up the stairs to their floor. Johnny nodded and patted Ten on the head, a gesture that use to make Ten scrunch up his face and tell the taller boy to stop, but only brought him comfort now.

 

About an hour later, Ten was changed sitting against the back of Johnny’s bed wearing some sweats and an old t-shirt with his hair still wet from his shower. Johnny sat on the other end of the bed looking pointedly at him waiting for him to talk, not wanting to seem pushy.

Ten sighed again and spoke just loud enough for the both of them to hear, “Johnny, I don’t think I like girls.” Oddly, it felt good to say out loud.

Johnny rested his head on his hand, and looked like he was thinking hard about his answer. “I kind of guessed so,” he replied after a few seconds.

His answer took Ten by surprise. “Really?” he asked back, leaning his head to one side.

“Yeah. I figured that either you were really private about your crushes or that you had no interest in girls. But then I realized that you weren’t even sure yourself.” Johnny answered, his face still looked like he was thinking about something. “That’s fine, you know. Figuring out your sexuality doesn’t happen the same for everyone.”

Ten looked at the window, outside the lights of the city were just as bright as ever. “I’m scared. I don’t know what this means now.”

Johnny nodded, “I was scared too. Terrified. I cried every night for months, Ten. I thought it was going to be the end of my world.”

Ten looked at Johnny, who was playing with his hands in his lap. He realized that Johnny has never looked so small.

“But it wasn’t. And I’m here now, and I’m happy. I’m glad to be who I am, you will too. You have friends who will support and love you no matter what, you know that.” Johnny said, in his ever steady voice. The words hit home. Ten knew he was right. In the world Ten lives in, surrounded by the people he is... what is he so scared of?

Ten hadn’t even realized he started crying until he felt Johnny pull him into his arms. It wasn’t the first time they’ve been like this, like when Ten’s cat went missing or when Johnny’s ex-boyfriend had cheated on him. Ten had forgotten how much of a rock Johnny was for him.

They stayed like that for a long while, Ten crying softly into Johnny’s chest and Johnny slowly rubbing circles in Ten’s back. It felt safe, and safety is what Ten craved. He then realized that’s what scared him. The uncertainty of not understanding his sexuality, not knowing if he even liked boys that way, not knowing where to go from here.

He had Johnny though, and Jaehyun, Yuta, and Taeyong who would also be there for him if he asked. The thought comforted him more than he could have hoped for.

After a few more minutes, Ten spoke up again, “There’s one other thing. A smaller thing.”

Johnny pulled back slightly, still keeping Ten’s cheek on his shoulder, but giving him room to talk.

“Do you know Jungwoo?” he asked in a quiet and croaky voice from all the crying.

“Taeyong’s friend?” Johnny asked, and Ten nodded. “Yeah, Jungwoo is cool. Why?”

Ten hesitated. He didn’t even really know what to say, he just knew he wanted to talk more about him. He wanted to know more about him.

“Did you see his outfit tonight?” Ten couldn’t look at him while he asked the question, he was still embarrassed about how he had acted around Jungwoo at the party.

To his surprise, Johnny laughed a little. “Yeah, I remember thinking that would take you off guard.”

Ten laughed along with him, “It surprised me, yeah...” Johnny could sense Ten wanted to say something more about it but he just waited for Ten to go on himself.

Ten closed his eyes and breathed deeply through his nose before blurting out, “Do you think I would look good dressed like that?”

That took Johnny by surprise. He stared at Ten for a second to process, but Ten was already backtracking, his face blood red.

“Pretend I didn’t say that, I wasn’t being serious I don’t even know why I said it just ign-” Ten rushed out, covering his face in embarrassment. Ten was completely taken aback by what he had said, he hadn’t even considered the idea before but he was feeling helpless. Still, the thought lingered in his mind.

Johnny quickly composed himself, pulling Ten’s hands from his face with a serious look, “Ten, angel, there is nothing you can say to me that I would judge you for. You don’t have to be embarrassed around me. And for the record, you would look amazing no matter what you wear. I think you should do anything that makes you happy, and if you like feminine clothes then you do and that’s wonderful and a part of who you are. And if you just wanted to try it out and decided you didn’t want to do it, that’s also fine. You should talk to Taeyong or Jungwoo about it if you are serious, they would never judge you and could help you a lot.”

Johnny smiled a little to himself, “And I’m about 100% sure anyone in our friend group will be more than happy to help you figure out your sexuality. All you have to do is ask.”

Even though Ten know Johnny was teasing a little on the last part, it still made him feel better. Because he was right. He wasn’t alone, and he wasn’t lost. He just had to ask for help.

“Thanks, Johnny.” Ten said seriously, making Johnny give him another big hug.

Ten slept in Johnny’s room that night, and the next morning felt the same as every other one. Almost like Ten hadn’t even told his roommate and best friend that he _might_ be gay and that he _might_ have an interest in dressing like a girl.

Maybe that’s because it made no difference to Johnny at all. Ten was all smiles that morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW. I KNOW OKAY. ITS BEEN MONTHS. BUT SCHOOL HAS BEEN A BITCH. anyways i'm BACK, with a long chapter.


	3. First Step

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ten seeks advice from a willing friend. Ten realizes he's probably going to be just fine.

Johnny made them both breakfast. Big waffles (Ten’s favorite) with eggs and even a few pieces of bacon, which was a luxury for two college students to indulge in. They sat in peaceful silence while they eat with a senseless show playing on the TV in the background.

At some point Johnny glanced over at Ten and said, as causally as he could, “So, how did you jack off before?”

Ten choked on his orange juice while Johnny laughed loudly beside him. Ten regained his composure and glared at him and said, “You gotta fucking warn me before you just spurt out some bullshit. What do you even mean?”

Johnny’s face was still broke out in a large smile, holding back laughter, “I meant what kind of porn do you watch? Y-know... what turns you on, dude?” The statement itself made them both stifle their giggles.

“I don’t watch porn, it’s weird to me. I like to... turn the lights down, put on some slow music - stop fucking looking at me like that, Johnathon!” Ten tried to explain while the both of them kept laughing about this conversation they found themselves in.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! You’re just so pure, even the way you masturbate is cute.”

Ten snorted loudly and threw a pillow from their shared couch at his friend’s annoying, adorable, stupid face. His best friend. He wondered how he managed to have simultaneously the worst and best best-friend in the entire world.

-

Ten had no classes today, he found himself cleaning up around their place. Neither of them were the cleanest people around but the apartment had really started to get out of control recently.

Taking a break, he decided to check his phone he hadn’t looked at since last night. His mind had been so muddled and after his talk with Johnny, he had fallen asleep immediately.

He had 3 missed texts, and 6 Instagram notifications.

He checked his messages first.

1 message from Jaehyun: i didn’t see you leave the party. did you guys make it back safely?

He smiled to himself. Jaehyun’s the best guy, and he always checks up on Ten. He instantly felt bad for not replying to him earlier.

Ten: yeah we made it fine! sorry for not replying, i didn’t feel the best when i got home. 

2 messages from Sicheng: do you have the notes from thursday?

Sicheng: or can we meet up later this week to study for that lab test we have coming up.

Sicheng was one of Johnny’s friends who Ten currently has a biology class with. Ten always felt awkward talking to him because he was so quiet, and somehow intimidating. Johnny assured him it’s just because he’s shy, that they would be really good friends if they talked more.

Ten: no notes. yes to meeting up later though, i’m free after class monday.

Next he opened Instagram, seeing he had been tagged in 2 photos and had 4 new followers.

The first picture was posted by Yuta, showing Ten, Yuta, Jaehyun, and Johnny posing in front of their fortress of drinks. Ten cursed the fact that he was the shortest, but still liked the picture. Yuta looked really good in that picture, Ten had always been a little jealous of Yuta’s arms that looked so toned. Ten reflected for a second that maybe it was a little bit more than jealousy. He quickly exited the picture.

The next post was from Taeyong of himself, Ten, and Jungwoo carrying Mark after he had gotten too wasted. Ten laughed out loud at the memory, Mark was such an emotional drunk it was adorable. Mark was definitely a lightweight.

Ten focused on Jungwoo in the photo, looking at his soft smile while he has an arm around Mark’s waist to hold him up. Ten allowed himself to stare at him for a little longer.

Jungwoo was really pretty, Ten decided. His light brown hair was so shiny, his skin was a perfectly blank canvas adorned with pretty, pretty accents. Ten felt his heart flip when he looked at Jungwoo’s little tummy peeking out from his crop top, covered by only the fishnets he had pulled up to his waist. Ten felt a sudden urge to wrap his arms around the boy there, he just looked so soft and fragile there.

Ten went back to his notifications, his face slightly warmer than before. He looked at his list of new followers and realized they were all from the night before.

The first was Mark, and Ten couldn't help but chuckle looking at his profile. He was such a cute kid trying to look all big and tough. Ten found it endearing.

Then there was Minami, the girl from the party. Ten was happy she had followed him back, they had gotten along really well. Her profile was filled with candids her friends must have taken for her. Ten thinks again just how pretty she is, and he feels a small pang of jealousy. Huh.

Lucas had followed him too, and Ten quickly realized the only thing the boy posted was selfies. A lot of selfies. Oh well, Ten thought, I guess he is good-looking.

The last follower made Ten’s heart jump a little, but he felt really good that he didnt offend Jungwoo with his weird and awkward encounter together. Looking at his profile made Ten feel really warm. The boy posted a lot of pictures of his various outfits, and Ten couldn’t deny that he felt some amount of attraction to those photos. One photo in particular that only showed Jungwoo’s neck adorned by a baby pink choker made Ten groan out loud and put his phone down, but not before he made sure to follow the boy back.

Ten texted Taeyong the second he exited Jungwoo’s Instagram page. He needed some advice.

-

Ten sat on the couch of Taeyong and Jaehyun’s apartment, his hands felt heavy on his lap as he waited for Taeyong to get home.

This was particularly strange for him. Out of the two roommates, Ten spent a lot more time with Jaehyun. Taeyong had seemed pleasantly surprised when Ten had texted him and asked if he had a free night to hang out, which comforted him. Until he remembered what he was here to do.

His plan was to, somehow, causally, bring up the topic that he, the ever-straight Ten, MIGHT be gay, and he also MIGHT have an interest in cross-dressing. The knots in his stomach tightened back up, making him drop his head into his hands in an attempt to gather himself again.

“Ten?” a voice said from behind him. Ten whipped his head around to meet Jaehyun’s confused expression, “Are you okay, dude?”

Ten coughed lightly and attempted a small smile through his nerves, “Yeah!” he said rather unconvincingly.

“What are you doing here? I mean you are always welcome, I just didn’t know we were hanging tonight. I have a load of fucking homework.” Jaehyun said, dropping his bulky backpack on the kitchen counter and reaching for the fridge.

“Oh! Uh, actually I had plans to chill with Tae tonight...” Ten replied.

Jaehyun turned to face him with a strange expression on his face, “Tae?” he said questioningly. “I didn’t know you two hung out.”

Ten cleared his throat and tried to sound indifferent, “Figured it was time to start.”

Jaehyun stayed quiet for a bit while he got himself a glass of ice water, he looks at Ten a few more times and then finally says, “Why are you acting so weird?”

Ten’s heart started beating fast again, as he remembered again why he was so nervous. He looked quietly at his hands and didn’t answer for a few seconds.

“It’s been a weird week,” he answered simply. Jaehyun’s face got softer and he nodded in agreement. He walked over to where Ten was sitting and ran one of his hands through Ten’s hair, and softly commented, “I hope it gets better,” before picking up his backpack and heading into his room.

Ten watched Jaehyun walk away, and when the door was shut he whispered back, “Me too.”

About three minutes after Jaehyun went to his room, Taeyong walked in the front door, hands full of books and papers. Ten rushed over to help him carry everything into his room without dropping anything. Taeyong thanked him over and over, talking about how he cleaned out his car and he didn’t think it was THIS bad.

The easy interaction eased Ten’s nerves an amount, Taeyong was really nice and comfortable to be with. Ten wonders why he hasn’t hung out with him before.

Taeyong apologizes for the state of his room, which isn’t messy at all compared to Ten and Johnny’s apartment, so Ten assures him he doesn’t mind. After much shuffling around and picking up clothes on the floor, Taeyong plops himself down on his bed and gestures to Ten that he can sit in his desk chair if he so wishes.

“So,” Taeyong starts, “what do you want to do? I have some movies, and we could borrow from Jae’s collection too. There’s also a console in the living room, but I’m warning you I’m shit at video games so it might not be a lot of fun to play against me. Or we can go out, whatever you want. It’s Ten’s choice tonight,” Taeyong finished with a kind smile, making Ten relax back into the chair.

“My choice, huh?” Ten chuckles, “this is gonna sound weird, but I really just wanted to talk to you. I don’t know if Johnny said anything to you, he likes to get involved in my business, but there’s some things on my mind that I think you could have some... advice about,” he finishes, unsure if what he was saying make sense.

Taeyong’s expression stayed neutral, “Johnny mentioned that he’s been worried about you, but that’s all he said. So, what’s bothering you? I’m not sure I will be a great help but I will certainly do my best,” his voice was calm, yet concerned.

Ten stared at Taeyong’s off-white walls, and mustered up his confidence. He came all the way here, he might as well put himself out there. Taeyong wouldn’t judge him. None of his friends would.

Ten took in a big breath and started explaining, “Right. So, you remember the party last Friday?” Taeyong nodded, “Well. I really tried to, find someone I was interested in and I was talking to this amazing girl and I kept trying to convince myself that I liked her, and I did in some ways but... she told me she likes girls, and I felt... relieved?” Ten looks over at Taeyong who is dutifully paying attention to every word, and his brow has furrowed ever so slightly.

Ten continued, “I think that moment made me realize that I am not interested in girls, romantically or anything. I mean, I think I knew for a long time and just ignored it. My first problem is that I don’t know how to really, handle that. It makes my brain hurt,” Ten leans further back into the chair, drawing his knees up to his chest. He had started to feel very small under his friend’s gaze.

Taeyong looked thoughtful for a few moments and then he spoke up, “You know that Taeil guy that was at the party? The one Jaehyun was drooling over?”

Ten didn’t understand where this was going, but nodded back anyways.

“He’s older than me and you. He didn’t figure out until this year that he liked boys. I think it’s totally okay if you are still confused. You weren’t exposed to this kind of lifestyle until you came here, right? I can imagine how confusing that could be,” Taeyong said while leaning on his hand and staring into the distance.

Ten knew he was right, that all of this was still so new to him. He couldn’t be expected to have it all under control in no time, he needed to find himself. His true self.

“However,” Taeyong started again, “I know there is something else. If this was the only problem you would have just come to Johnny or Jaehyun. So, what else is up?”

Ten swallowed hard. This was the part he was dreading, because this territory was so new to him and he had no clue how to phrase it.

“So, you are friends with Jungwoo?” Ten asked, and he was sure his face turned a few shades darker. 

Taeyong agreed, pushing Ten to continue.

“And you guys, you have a similar fashion sense right?”

Taeyong nodded, “Sometimes we even share the same clothes,” he smiled to himself, “even though he’s a lot fucking taller than me.”

For some reason the thought of Taeyong and Jungwoo switching clothes make Ten feel hot all over. He wondered if Taeyong could see the sweat form on his forehead.

“I think I want to... try that too.” Ten finally said. “It’s all I can think about since the party.”

Several looks crossed Taeyong’s face in the span of a few seconds. Surprise, confusion, and then it finally settled on a mixture of happiness and determination.

“You have come to the right place.” Taeyong said, and he immediately starts throwing clothes to him out of his closet.

This is going to be a very interesting night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit i know it's been forever but i just got the biggest rush of inspiration... comments are very appreciated it makes me very motivated!


	4. The Group Chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Party, tomorrow?

This wasn’t working out the way Ten had imagined.

Taeyong was getting increasingly frustrated with his wardrobe. He had told Ten they would start off mild, with some tight jeans and crop tops. Just to see how Ten felt. A problem arose quickly.

These jeans were tight for Taeyong. For Ten, it meant they wouldn’t go up past his knees.

“God fucking dammit Ten, you have an ass and thighs I would die for,” Taeyong finally said with a mixture of admiration and annoyance, “none of this shit is going to fit you.”

Ten laughed, “Thanks, I think?”

Taeyong sat in a chair and stared at Ten for a moment, trying to figure out a solution to this problem. Ten was trying to not feel completely exposed with his current state of dress, black jeans hanging from his knees while he stood there in grey boxers and no shirt (they hadn’t had time for a top yet, the jeans had completely threw them off track).

Taeyong jumped up suddenly and announced, “I have an idea. Just keep an open mind.”

Ten groaned in dread.

“No, don’t worry its not over the top it’s just... different. You’ll see!”

A couple minutes later, Taeyong emerged from his gigantic closet with a handful of fabrics.

“Alright Tennie,” Taeyong said, sounding proud, “put these on first.”

The material Ten was given didn’t feel like much material at all and it had so many holes in it. Ten looked at it in wild confusion and curiosity until he realized with horror that it was black fishnets.

Ten looked up at Taeyong in shock, “This is the first step?”

“Well, it wouldn’t be if your ass wasn’t so fucking big so really this is your fault.” Taeyong said with a teasing smile.

Ten ignored the comment and looked down at the fabric in his hands. He thought back to the party and to Jungwoo wearing those pink fishnets. Ten would be lying if he said he didn’t feel a rush thinking about looking how Jungwoo had that night.

“God. Whatever, fine, give me a second.” Ten said, and Taeyong cheered loudly. Ten hoped Taeyong understood that he was truly grateful for his help right now, even if he kept staring at his ass trying to do it discreetly. Actually, that information made him feel a little powerful.

He didn’t like the way the fishnet felt. It was borderline itchy and the way the air conditioning created a slight breeze through all the holes was slightly uncomfortable.

He did, however, like how they looked. The black lines hugged around his legs, all the way up around his waist. He turned around and admired the way the holes in the netting stretched out wider around his thighs and ass. Again, he felt a surge of power he hadn’t experienced before. It felt good.

Taeyong cleared his throat and handed Ten two more articles of clothing. Ten noticed Taeyong avoiding eye contact with him and was like a blush on his cheeks? Ten allowed himself a small smirk and put on the rest of the outfit.

Which consisted of: red baggy joggers that sat low enough on his hips that the black fishnets wrapped around his tummy were visible underneath the black crop top he was wearing on his top half. Ten was trying to keep his excitement low-key but when he saw himself in the mirror he couldn’t hold in his broad smile. He saw Taeyong standing to the side smiling just as wide.

“Not only do you look hot as hell,” Taeyong said, “you are glowing! You look so happy.”

Ten simply answered, “I don’t know how to explain it. It just feels good.” His eyes hadn’t left the mirror from the second he had started looking.

Taeyong nodded, “Trust me, I know the feeling.”

A few more moments of standing and admiring, then Taeyong asked, “Can I do your makeup?”

-

Ten arrived at his and Johnny’s apartment with a bag full of things Taeyong had given him. He had tried to refuse his friend’s generosity, but Taeyong had insisted it was things he didn’t need anymore and he wanted Ten to have it.

He had given him the outfit he tried on, saying it was more a gift to the world to have Ten wear it than it was a gift to Ten. Ten shook his head and smiled at the memory. Taeyong had never been so openly flirtatious with him before, and he has to admit it made him feel really good. A week ago the flirting would have embarrassed him beyond belief, but now... Now it was different. Ten was open to exploring this now.

Johnny looked up at him when he walked into the living room, “What are you smiling about?”

“Johnny, did you know that I have an ass to die for?” Ten answered in his best Taeyong voice impression.

“Yes,” Johnny deadpanned, making Ten blush, “Did Tae actually say that?”

“Only about 7 times.” Ten said.

Johnny laughed, and pointed to the bag in his arms. “What’s in the bag?”

“Gifts from the ever-generous Prince Taeyong,” Ten replied, handing the bag to his curious roommate.

Johnny trifled through the bag of dainty clothes and a few makeup items as well. He hadn’t even looked through it all when Taeyong handed it to him, but when Johnny pulled out a black school-girl skirt and raised his eyebrows Ten blushed and just muttered “God dammit Yong”.

Johnny got a devilish grin on his face and started chanting, “Fashion show! Fashion show!”

Ten glared at him on instinct, but was actually considering it. He knew Johnny would give him honest opinions, and he was feeling a bit risky tonight... Why not?

“Fine,” he said smugly and took the bag from Johnny’s lap.

Johnny’s eyes went wide, “Wait, really?” He said with a dumb grin on his face while he followed Ten walking into his bedroom.

“Yep! Just sit on the bed, I’ll change in the bathroom. You have to give me an honest opinion of everything, okay Johnathon!”

“Yes sir!” Johnny saluted back, looking way, way too happy to be in this situation.

The rest of the night went like this: Ten coming out in the bathroom in various getups and sparkly lipgloss, Johnny whistling loudly and drowning his best friend in compliments.

Ten was glowing again.

-

Party Crew GC (1 new message)

TEN: hello... are all of you free, i have an Announcement ™

JAEHYUN: Here

YUTA: sup

JOHNNY: Oh its TIME

TAEYONG: here!

SICHENG: when did i get added to this

SICHENG: but im here too i guess

TEN: oh hi sicheng

YUTA: what did johnny mean its time

YUTA: time for what

JAEHYUN: this is ominous energy

TEN: no its not

TEN: johnny is dumb ignore him

JOHNNY: hey now

TAEYONG: no tens right ignore johnny

SICHENG: already done.

JOHNNY: WHAT THE FUCK

TEN: shut UP and LISTEN

YUTA: JUST SAY IT

TEN: IM TRYING

TEN: THIS IS A BIG MOMENT

JAEHYUN: a big moment?

TEN: yes. right now listen

TEN: i dont like girls.

TAEYONG: oh, it’s that

YUTA: bitch

YUTA: after ALL this damn time i wasted not trying to get in ur pants because you were straight

YUTA: this was all a lie

TEN: yuta PLEASE this is serious

JAEHYUN: taeyong knew?

YUTA: kIDDING . love u bro support u always

SICHENG: we arent close but uh thats cool dude me either

JOHNNY: sicheng is angel

TAEYONG: i knew only since yesterday

JAEHYUN: ah

TEN: i just wanted everyone to know... i’m still figuring shit out

JOHNNY: we are all here for you

TAEYONG: ^^ <3

YUTA: im happy you told us! im happy you are finding yourself

TEN: alright enough sappy shit. party tomorrow?

TAEYONG: hell yes

JOHNNY: hell yes

SICHENG: im down

YUTA: have i ever said no?

TEN: jaehyun, you down?

(4 minutes)

TAEYONG: i think he’s studying. i’m sure he’s down!

TAEYONG: yuta’s place this time though.

YUTA: yall forget who my roommate is. if one of you wanna convince kun, be my guest

SICHENG: on it

(1 minute)

SICHENG: he said sure, but everything has to be clean by sunday afternoon.

JOHNNY: i repeat, sicheng is angel

TAEYONG: hell yes

YUTA: dude sicheng

YUTA: how the fuck

YUTA: you know what it doesn’t matter, lets just fucking party


End file.
